Personal Adulting: Dishwash-her? I Barely Know Her?

"Ugh, can you...just fit it in there...NO! NOT THERE! I thought you were good at this? Didn't you say you had a lot of practice with your mom? Okay, you can't just put that back in without washing it off first, that crap will never come off. Rub it like this, here I'll show you."

Ah, the masterpiece that is the dishwasher. This piece of age old machinery can work marvels when used properly, but alas that is rarely the case. Dread it. Run from it. Your roommates thinking they know better arrives all the same. And now it's here. Or should I say, placing pans in the bottom rack is. Part of Adulting is learning those things not taught, but that everyone is expected to know. Everyone knows how to load a dishwasher, so this article is not for you. It's for that other person who you know doesn't. Maybe send them this passive aggressively and see what happens? Up to you. By popular demand: Adulting - How to Use a Dishwasher.

Anatomy of a Dishwasher

There are two cores parts to a dishwasher, and if you're kind of fancy and want to brag, possibly a third: Bottom Rack, Upper Rack, and in rare cases, the sneaky Upper Upper Utensil Rack.

Usage:

• Upper Upper Utensil Rack: Utensils without thick grime or food stuff on them. Being the farthest from the jets, this area is least likely to remove ground-in stains

• Upper Rack: Glasses, mugs, workout cups, and small bowls - do not put glasses too close together -

• Bottom Rack: Dinner and salad plates, cereal bowls, serving dishes, and utensils (in the side container). DO NOT PUT POTS/PANS or GOOD CHINA. Those should be washed by hand.

Mr. Clean’s Wet Dream

A dishwasher operates by mixing detergent (which should be placed in the tray on the door of the dishwasher) or a detergent pod (which can be placed directly into the washer) with hot water. Hot water is important to this equation as the hotter the water the more effective at removing germs and heavy soil. This hot water is then shot through jets typically at the bottom of the dishwasher to attack dirt and grime from different angles and at different currents. The end result, dirty water, is drained through a filter and pipe in the back.

Knowing how a dishwater operates is a fantastic, and I mean FANTASTIC party topic, but the more useful part of this article is all that we have learned NOT TO DO, from our years of trial and error.

Dishwasher Faux Pas:

1) Putting pots or pans in the bottom or any rack. Pots and pans are often not dishwasher safe to begin with, meaning the rubber handles or other parts they have may break if placed in the dishwasher multiple times. They are also less likely to be cleaned as pots and pans have hard, cooked in or burnt areas on them which the typical non industrial dishwasher cannot handle. Last but not least, they are typically larger and take up a lot of space in the dishwasher that could be used for well organized plates. Don’t be lazy. Wash pots and pans by hand like so:

2) Putting glasses or Tupperware lids in the bottom rack. Glasses and Tupperware can get warped or scratched when placed in the bottom rack with the big boys. Both items are best placed in the Upper Rack. Also avoid putting sharp knives in the silverware caddies - if you're not careful that can be very dangerous!

3) Not cleaning your dishwasher or adding salt. Dishwashers need some love too. Add some white vinegar to the dishwasher and have it run a cycle. This removes some grease and other odors from the dishwasher’s nether regions. Also don't pull the racks out too quickly or you may pull them off the track and give you an aneurysm.

4) Not abiding by the little dish separators. They are there for a reason. Make sure to use consecutive slots for dishes; otherwise, there will be wasted space and the dishwasher will hold half of what it can actually clean. Also, the separators are designed to hold certain types of dishware in place while the blade is moving in the dishwasher. Put the wrong item in the wrong spot and it won’t get clean.

5) Adding extra detergent. Don’t overfill the line. More detergent does not = more clean! Extra detergent can leave a film of soap on the dishes when they are heat-dried.

Granddaddy of Them All

Now it’s the one you have all been waiting for, the Granddaddy of them all – “Do I need to wash something if I am putting it in the DISH-WASHER. Isn’t the the dishwasher’s job?

The answer: No, it’s not the dishwasher’s job. The dishwasher is first and foremost a sanitation device, not a deep cleaner. The hot water is utilized in combination with soap, in the same way you wash your hands with soap to remove germs and other small unwanted grime. To get something ‘clean’ you would use an alkaline cleaning agent like bleach or some other strong base cleaner. Rinsing a dish and taking a second or two to scrub any deeply seated filth will go a long way to making you a healthier and more sanitary adult. Trust us, Jackson Pollock-inspired stains or your plates and foggy glasses are the quickest way to get your guests or that date you brought over to reconsider coming back.

If you're looking at a comically high stack of dishes, silverware, pots, and pans that you were going to put in the dishwasher, but now that you've seen the light, will diligently clean ahead of time, feel free to watch the below video on some items you may need:

• Detergent - Load in the dishwasher dispenser

• Scrub Brush - Get off tough grease and grime and keep your hands clean

• Paper Towel - use to dry off pots/pans that had grease on them - by using the paper towel to dry you will be able to see whether there is still grease, or if it was a job well done

• Dish Soap - Soap up the dishes, remember to use with hot water

• Sponge - Go to cleaning tool

• Dish Towel - Use as a drying area to place items before putting away or in the dishwasher